Jennifer Van Uffelen
Life events, grief and guilt-free joy
Updated: Nov 17, 2022
30th June 2022
It's been a while! Thank you for reading and sharing a small moment of life with me.
The past few months included finishing up valuable professional training, getting ourselves a camper van, putting the boat back on the water and moving house from the sea to the country (some in person sessions happening in Kilkenny); but also stripping back my calendar to allow more time for creativity in my business, inviting in new clients and enjoying the summer.
I've got my share to write to you about moving through grief and big life events, but decided to leave that for next time and stick with one topic for today.
"The moment after we don't know what to do with ourselves is the moment we find ourselves. Right after itchy boredom is self-discovery.”
Glennon Doyle wrote this in her book 'Untamed' and I can't wait to read the whole thing! There's not much time to get bored with unlimited online access and endless distractions when we look for them. But what are we distracting ourselves from?
My phone tends to sneak in at vulnerable times and when I catch it, I can choose to sit in the discomfort instead. This little pause allows me to decide on my next move: does my body want to fill a need so I can refocus on what I'm doing or is there space in this moment to fill with something to enjoy? Reaching for my phone will probably clutter my mind and sap my time and energy! Moving through a busy schedule for a period in time will probably make sufficient rest feel a bit unfamiliar to my system.
I found myself feeling guilty with more free time this month thinking I need to be acting more productive and making sure I keep up to date. Sound familiar? Constantly running around or feeling restless is a tiring way to live and I learned in my own life that this would only result in physical issues forcing me to rest. I rather fully enjoy that rest before it's outdated and give myself full permission to not check up on anything or get back to anyone.
Can we allow ourselves a dose of guilt-free joy instead? I choose to listen to the kinder voice now, telling me to go take my mat to the grass, read that book in the sun, dance to some tunes, discover a new walk, write some creative thoughts or dwell in the sweet joy of doing nothing.
None of these ever resulted in me getting lazy and not achieving anything, believe it or not, every moment of fun, pleasure, joy or rest brings more energy and creativity into my life. Can we make plans that are born out of desire to fit into the life that we really want when we are honest with ourselves?
Life is meant only for living and love exists because of who you are, not what you do. So give a little love to yourself and do you!
If you or anyone you know needs support to identify their limits or wants to make changes but somehow sticks to the same habits, I've got space in my calendar. The right support systems have helped me so much along the way and I still invest in self development to keep me on track.